Monday, March 27, 2017 | By: BlackGargie

Another Death in the Family... (Part 2)

Continue from Part 1...

Come a week before CNY, Grandma was finally getting discharged in the late afternoon. Had to monitor her eating habits, because if she goes on another hunger strike again, had to admit her bk to hospital before she kills herself from low blood sugar.

Still didn't ease my looming 💀💀💀 feeling though.

My buddies think that maybe if she see the festive season she may give up the idea of dying, though te docs said if she doesn't eat, her blood sugar level will drop, and that is what will cause the risk of cardiac arrest.

I wouldn't hold my breath though, she's super stubborn when she's moody. A few times when she went on hunger strike, she slapped everyone's hand away whenever they tried to feed her. The maid, my mom in law, her fav relative from Sandakan and Singapore who came to visit... Everyone. Even the nurse when they try to give her medicine.

First thing my MIL did when Grandma was officially home was nag her to eat, then during dinner keep wanting to force feed her and make her finish the entire plate of food. In my mind, I was like "She just got out of hospital and she just slowly getting out of hunger strike, please don't go force feeding people; her stomach can't take it". And after that, she wanted to force feed her the full dose of medicine, even when grandma was complaining that she was nauseous, she still insist that she eat. Luckily my dad in law interfere and say "If she can't eat don't force it, or else she'll get frustrated and go on hunger strike again!" before my mom in law finally backed off.  😓😓😓

After CNY and into February, grandma in law was still very tedious, didn't want to eat, and even if she did, only a few small tiny spoon, and only drink one or two sips. She was literally like a skeleton in our home. Hate to say this but her appearance made me think of the babayaga aka The Russian boogeywoman at times.

Towards the middle of the month, every night she would will wake up in delirium every 10-20 mins starting midnight just for a sip of water and also want people to accompany her. I felt sorry for the maid, every night never get a good night's rest. At first, my MIL thinks the maid's bluffing and tries to stay a couple of nights with the grandma, she barely lasted a night before she woke up the maid to give her a hand. LOL wat's the point? After the second night she surrendered, didn't want to do it, throw it all back to the maid.

From midnight onwards, she would wake people up every 10-20 mins, can keep it up until 3-4am, sometimes even until almost sunrise. She didn't just wake people up for drink, she wanted the company. She was literally too weak to reach for a drink or get up. I think some of her muscles might have atrophied.

She was basically just waiting to die, but Angel of Death is taking its sweet time to do it. And whatever little food and drink she ingested is somehow keeping her alive. Kinda confusing though, she was too weak to move around or anything, but she's still strong enough to clamp her mouth shut or push people's hand away when they try to feed her or pinch people when they try to manhandle her. Sometimes you think you managed to feed her, but she actually just store it in her mouth like a little kid, refuse to swallow, and when you check her, she will spit or just drool all the food out and make a mess.

Why is it, when people pray for death, they live longer, but people who beg to live longer end up dying early?

Now that grandma is finally home from the hospital, my in-laws are back to being bible-thumping church goers with a vengeance. Everything leave the maid to do and busy with other people's affairs and praying for other people's sickness and health except their own mother, and then come home only know how to complain say maid don't do good job on this or that, only know how to give unsolicited advice to us without knowing the real situation. If you worry so much about us doing a bad job, you stay home and pay attention to what's going on at home then, don't just complain about it!

The other day my mom in law used a very accusing tone to tell me to bring the kids downstairs, don't let them stay cooped up in the room upstairs all day or my kids won't get better. I shot her back and say "Of course I got bring them down, if you don't believe me, you ask the maid or check the CCTV". She then quickly changed her tone when she can tell I was upset and said "No la, I'm just telling you only~"

Then there was also one night when my baby angel was sick, she went into her busybody mode and say "When was the last dose of fever medicine you give Elena?"

I said "Her temperature is normal, I stopped giving her."

Then she was like "Why did you stop?? You should continuously give! Later her fever come back how??"

And I was like "Hello? I monitored her temperature from day till night, and it has been stable all day. If she has no fever spike, what for I give? Doctor already said if fever, then give, if no fever don't give it willy-nilly. If she gets poisoning how?"

Then she mumble "I'm just telling you to give her so that her fever doesn't come back ma~"

She HAD to have the last word, which was SO fucking annoying. In the end I ignored her and didn't give. I'm not about to risk my daughter's health over your so-called ideas about giving medicine.

She was already thinking negatively of me ever since I become stay at home mom. If grandma in law wasn't sick and lucky enough I'm at home to look after the house and the kids, she prolly will think I'm more freeloader, never get job. Nowadays even the maid also sometimes get frustrated with her, every little thing wanna make a long ass complaint, and she can't do her work bcoz she has to stay there and listen to her rant. It got to the point where my maid had no choice but to retaliate, "Sorry ibu, if you're not satisfied with my work, please demo it yourself for me, then I know what to do". Then my mom in law assume she was being insubordinate and go complain to my dad in law, then my dad in law gets frustrated by her long ass complaining and take it out on the maid, scolding her for "fighting" with mom in law.

I don't believe anyone else can handle doing my maid's job, man.

Early into March, my maid had her job cut out for her, coz now the grandma not only night time keeping her awake at night every 10-20 mins, now even daytime also want attention, calling the maid "amah~ amah~" every 20-30 mins. Depending on the time between each call, we have to guess whether she's just calling for attention or really urgently want something. If there is a long gap between calls, then she's just asking for attention. If the gap is short, then she either really urgently needs something or she's pissed that she's being ignored and demands more attention. I pity that my maid don't even get a break.

Had to say this, but my in-laws should be glad I'm not working right now, so at least I can pay attention to my own kids and lessen her burden a bit. I bet for now they don't dare to pester me to go look for work because if they don't have me, who is going to look after the house and the kids if something happens to the grandma n get hospitalised again? LOL

Funny though, my grandma in law only wanted attention frm the maid or my mom in law, but if other people respond to her she didn't want to reply us. There was one time where the maid was cooking in the kitchen n she keep calling n calling until she was literally screaming "AMAH~ AMAH~!!!" I went to her n told her "The amah is cooking, wait for a while. What do you need, just tell me, I'll get it for you", she just looked away and ignored me 😑😑😑

Towards the middle of this month, for the last couple of nights she suddenly stopped calling out in the middle of the night, but still very restless and couldn't sleep. First night she stopped calling out, my maid was suddenly super worried and woke up every 2 hours to check on her, coz she's so used to hearing her calling out 😅😅😅

Her last check up with the doctor, all the doctor advised was just let her stay as comfortable as possible, don't force her to eat, let her eat what she can. It was as if the doctor knew she didn't have long. From there the looming 💀💀💀 feelings had returned, and not just me, even our maid felt it too. Mom in law also may or may not have felt it, but at the time, she was still in denial, thinking she could still get better if she would just snap out of her depression and just eat, eat, eat. She did, however, decided to give my eldest sister in law a call so that she could speak to the grandma just in case worse case scenario happens.

The next day, Grandma in law stayed in her room today, finally sleeping after days of skipping naps in favour of calling out and nights of staying up calling out. I think from there, reality is starting to sink in to my mom in law, as she actually stayed home more and prayed for the grandma instead of going to special church events that she had never missed in her life. At dinner, both my in-laws were also even discussing when to bring in the pastor to read the grandma her last rites. Everyone was slowly starting to feel the looming 💀💀💀 feeling for grandma already. So we were all keeping ourselves prepared

Though I was already pretty much prepared since she started doing badly at the hospital...

More on Part 3...