Thursday, November 17, 2016 | By: BlackGargie

In-Law Problems

Heya, guys, haven't been updating this blog for quite a long time. Ever since my baby angel (nickname for Jr #2) was born, I had to be a supermama and look after both my girls as a stay at home mom while my hubs is out there doing two jobs, one his main one as the IT manager and his part-time job as a used games salesman. It's a little exhausting for both of us on our front, but we managed to find some kind of balance and getting on with life the best we could.

Though I've just been a little peeved these few days, coz my in-laws were being a little annoying lately. Just the other day, my mom in law just popped into my room for no reason and was like "Shouldn't you be feeding your baby dinner? It's so late already!" and I look at the clock and I was like "Dude, its only 6.30pm. What, do kids have a dinner curfew or something?"

She keeps insisting like "It's late! It's SO late! Kids shouldn't be eating late! You can't let them follow our eating schedule" I was thinking "I don't see you complain about the other kids or my eldest princess when they eat at around 8pm sometimes. What if the maid didn't cook anything? What am I gonna feed them? Dirt?"

And sometimes even my maid can be a fucking idiot and not even prepare dinner for baby angel if its past the 6.30pm marker, its like c'mon! I know your following the missus' orders, but have some common sense!
If it's past the dinner curfew, I'm not allowed to feed my kids? Should I let them starve and send them to bed without dinner?

Fuck.

They're lucky I'm a tolerant n patient person, if not, I would've shouted at them saying "You're not entitled to lecture me about childcare when you think attending a church meeting is more important than staying at home to celebrate your grandchild's birthday!"

It's true, they literally told us to do the happy birthday singing and cake-cutting ceremony early BEFORE dinner during princess' birthday because they have a church meeting to attend to that they can't miss. I mean who DOES that? Church is more important than your own family? I know you wanna love God and all that and put God above everything else, but come on! Really? Didn't the Scripture teach you something about loving your family and caring for them and whatnot? Which part of the Bible says that you should abandon everything, even your own family who have birth and raised you to who you are right now, just to serve a religion that allows pain and suffering on earth to happen?

It's like ever since my 2nd sis in law's daughter passed away, my mom in law suddenly became so devout, as if she's trying to escape reality by praying the grief away, and then dragging my dad in law into it, and now everything revolves around their church schedule. Nothing else mattered. They complain about sleeping late and being tired because they need to do so many other things at home before bedtime. Then don't fucking go to church for once so you can get your things done, you idiot! Where are your priorities? To kill yourself over a church issue? I'm pretty sure God would not want THAT much of a devotion to happen.

I'm not trying to be mean, and I know it's prolly her way of coping with grief, but its been 2, 3 years since she passed, praying is not gonna bring her back to life! It's really ridiculous!

And now they're kinda picking on me because I chose to be a stay at home mother than out there working

They don't seem to understand that even though we have a maid, the new addition of Jr #2 has made her job more stressful, not only she has to cope with housework, she has to deal with my sis in law's 3 kids whom she dumped on us during workdays coz she's too cheap-ass to hire her own maid. The only reason the maid is coping is because I'm at home to pick up the slack and look after my own two girls, which gives her time to cope with the other kids as well as the housework, but my in-laws think I have it easy because all I do is stay at home doing nothing but tend to my girls' needs, that me staying at home is being lazy and putting too much monetary burden on their son.

They want me to work so I can earn my keep and not burden my hubs' wallet, saying that me staying home tending too much to my kids is spoiling them, when they don't understand that if I go to work, it'll put more burden on the maid to perform, and I can't trust her to look after my kids if she can't even concentrate enough on the other 3 kids who monopolizes her attention. I know my in-laws mean well, but I don't want the maid to suddenly ring me at the office one day begging me to come home because she can't cope.

I'm already trying earn my keep by doing odd jobs online, but they don't believe working at home brings food to the table, even though I proved it already to them by showing the USD$300 per chapter freelance story writing I've been doing last year. They even have the galls to give me an ultimatum and said "Either you go out to work, or you stay at home and we will fire the maid and pay YOU instead to do all the housework."

I'm not really sure they mean is as a joke or whatever, but hello?! WTF?! I married your son to be his WIFE! I did not marry into this family to be your MAID!!

As usual my arguments were brush aside as excuses by my in-laws, and they've been quite passive-aggressive to me ever since.

And don't even get me started on them always giving me unsolicited advice when I am the one who has to deal with the consequence of said unsolicited advice.

Just a few months ago, my mom in law kinda lectured me on spoiling Baby Angel too much, that I shouldn't carry her all the time, or feed her sideways on the bed lying down, that I should carry her while feeding and put her down once she's asleep or done, then I will have free time on my own to do my thing. I told her that I have tried that method and it just get Baby Angel even more agitated and wake up even easier because there is no feeling of my arms cradling her, and her being a light sleeper also didn't really help the situation. I told her "Mi, there is a reason why I lie down to feed her so that once she falls asleep, I can just slip away quietly with no fuss or muss and get my things done."

You know what she did?

She basically gave me a "I'm not going to lose this argument with you whipper-snapper" and quickly changed the subject, saying "Then how about dealing with that spoiled attitude of your little baby there? Liara was SO much easier to look after than her!"

I swear I wanted to just slap her for calling my baby angel "spoiled". It's called "attachment parenting", you outdated old timer! Of course my Princess was easier to look after, you made me go back to work when you started that boutique business, so I had no choice but to let everyone else but me look after her, OF COURSE she was going to be easier to handle. Now that I'm a stay at home mom, I am closer and around often to be with Baby Angel, so naturally she's more attached to me than most! WTF, you dildo!


It may be far-fetched, and I may be thinking too much, but I have the nagging feeling they're like this because Jr #2 wasn't a boy despite me exhibiting all the tell-tale signs of having a baby boy pregnancy

Sorry about the rant, just really peeved, dunno why my in-laws are really nitpicky and passive-aggressive lately, it's getting on my nerves. It's a bit of a sore subject these days in my home, and I now have a phobia of eating alone at the table with my in-laws because they are bound to bring that up, and I notice they always wait until my hubs is not around to do so because they know my hubs will support me and take my side and escalate the discussion into a heated argument where they don't win.

I don't care if my in-laws find this and read this, if it is the only way to get it through their thick skull about how I feel, so be it.

Sigh~~ I really can't wait for the day we have enough to move out...