Thursday, November 17, 2016 | By: BlackGargie

In-Law Problems

Heya, guys, haven't been updating this blog for quite a long time. Ever since my baby angel (nickname for Jr #2) was born, I had to be a supermama and look after both my girls as a stay at home mom while my hubs is out there doing two jobs, one his main one as the IT manager and his part-time job as a used games salesman. It's a little exhausting for both of us on our front, but we managed to find some kind of balance and getting on with life the best we could.

Though I've just been a little peeved these few days, coz my in-laws were being a little annoying lately. Just the other day, my mom in law just popped into my room for no reason and was like "Shouldn't you be feeding your baby dinner? It's so late already!" and I look at the clock and I was like "Dude, its only 6.30pm. What, do kids have a dinner curfew or something?"

She keeps insisting like "It's late! It's SO late! Kids shouldn't be eating late! You can't let them follow our eating schedule" I was thinking "I don't see you complain about the other kids or my eldest princess when they eat at around 8pm sometimes. What if the maid didn't cook anything? What am I gonna feed them? Dirt?"

And sometimes even my maid can be a fucking idiot and not even prepare dinner for baby angel if its past the 6.30pm marker, its like c'mon! I know your following the missus' orders, but have some common sense!
If it's past the dinner curfew, I'm not allowed to feed my kids? Should I let them starve and send them to bed without dinner?

Fuck.

They're lucky I'm a tolerant n patient person, if not, I would've shouted at them saying "You're not entitled to lecture me about childcare when you think attending a church meeting is more important than staying at home to celebrate your grandchild's birthday!"

It's true, they literally told us to do the happy birthday singing and cake-cutting ceremony early BEFORE dinner during princess' birthday because they have a church meeting to attend to that they can't miss. I mean who DOES that? Church is more important than your own family? I know you wanna love God and all that and put God above everything else, but come on! Really? Didn't the Scripture teach you something about loving your family and caring for them and whatnot? Which part of the Bible says that you should abandon everything, even your own family who have birth and raised you to who you are right now, just to serve a religion that allows pain and suffering on earth to happen?

It's like ever since my 2nd sis in law's daughter passed away, my mom in law suddenly became so devout, as if she's trying to escape reality by praying the grief away, and then dragging my dad in law into it, and now everything revolves around their church schedule. Nothing else mattered. They complain about sleeping late and being tired because they need to do so many other things at home before bedtime. Then don't fucking go to church for once so you can get your things done, you idiot! Where are your priorities? To kill yourself over a church issue? I'm pretty sure God would not want THAT much of a devotion to happen.

I'm not trying to be mean, and I know it's prolly her way of coping with grief, but its been 2, 3 years since she passed, praying is not gonna bring her back to life! It's really ridiculous!

And now they're kinda picking on me because I chose to be a stay at home mother than out there working

They don't seem to understand that even though we have a maid, the new addition of Jr #2 has made her job more stressful, not only she has to cope with housework, she has to deal with my sis in law's 3 kids whom she dumped on us during workdays coz she's too cheap-ass to hire her own maid. The only reason the maid is coping is because I'm at home to pick up the slack and look after my own two girls, which gives her time to cope with the other kids as well as the housework, but my in-laws think I have it easy because all I do is stay at home doing nothing but tend to my girls' needs, that me staying at home is being lazy and putting too much monetary burden on their son.

They want me to work so I can earn my keep and not burden my hubs' wallet, saying that me staying home tending too much to my kids is spoiling them, when they don't understand that if I go to work, it'll put more burden on the maid to perform, and I can't trust her to look after my kids if she can't even concentrate enough on the other 3 kids who monopolizes her attention. I know my in-laws mean well, but I don't want the maid to suddenly ring me at the office one day begging me to come home because she can't cope.

I'm already trying earn my keep by doing odd jobs online, but they don't believe working at home brings food to the table, even though I proved it already to them by showing the USD$300 per chapter freelance story writing I've been doing last year. They even have the galls to give me an ultimatum and said "Either you go out to work, or you stay at home and we will fire the maid and pay YOU instead to do all the housework."

I'm not really sure they mean is as a joke or whatever, but hello?! WTF?! I married your son to be his WIFE! I did not marry into this family to be your MAID!!

As usual my arguments were brush aside as excuses by my in-laws, and they've been quite passive-aggressive to me ever since.

And don't even get me started on them always giving me unsolicited advice when I am the one who has to deal with the consequence of said unsolicited advice.

Just a few months ago, my mom in law kinda lectured me on spoiling Baby Angel too much, that I shouldn't carry her all the time, or feed her sideways on the bed lying down, that I should carry her while feeding and put her down once she's asleep or done, then I will have free time on my own to do my thing. I told her that I have tried that method and it just get Baby Angel even more agitated and wake up even easier because there is no feeling of my arms cradling her, and her being a light sleeper also didn't really help the situation. I told her "Mi, there is a reason why I lie down to feed her so that once she falls asleep, I can just slip away quietly with no fuss or muss and get my things done."

You know what she did?

She basically gave me a "I'm not going to lose this argument with you whipper-snapper" and quickly changed the subject, saying "Then how about dealing with that spoiled attitude of your little baby there? Liara was SO much easier to look after than her!"

I swear I wanted to just slap her for calling my baby angel "spoiled". It's called "attachment parenting", you outdated old timer! Of course my Princess was easier to look after, you made me go back to work when you started that boutique business, so I had no choice but to let everyone else but me look after her, OF COURSE she was going to be easier to handle. Now that I'm a stay at home mom, I am closer and around often to be with Baby Angel, so naturally she's more attached to me than most! WTF, you dildo!


It may be far-fetched, and I may be thinking too much, but I have the nagging feeling they're like this because Jr #2 wasn't a boy despite me exhibiting all the tell-tale signs of having a baby boy pregnancy

Sorry about the rant, just really peeved, dunno why my in-laws are really nitpicky and passive-aggressive lately, it's getting on my nerves. It's a bit of a sore subject these days in my home, and I now have a phobia of eating alone at the table with my in-laws because they are bound to bring that up, and I notice they always wait until my hubs is not around to do so because they know my hubs will support me and take my side and escalate the discussion into a heated argument where they don't win.

I don't care if my in-laws find this and read this, if it is the only way to get it through their thick skull about how I feel, so be it.

Sigh~~ I really can't wait for the day we have enough to move out...
Wednesday, October 19, 2016 | By: BlackGargie
Sunday, May 22, 2016 | By: BlackGargie
Monday, February 29, 2016 | By: BlackGargie

FINALLY!!


Holy crap!

Finally!

Final-fucking-ly!!

Leonardo DiCaprio finally won an Oscar!

Final-fucking-ly!!

Leonardo DiCaprio aka Titanic Jack has FINALLY won an Oscar for Best Actor!

His first Oscar after 12 years and 6 nominations! FINALLY!

Throughout his career, he only had ever been nominated 6 times for Wolf of Wall Street, Blood Diamond, The Aviator and What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, and he didn't even get nominated for Titanic which was like one of his best roles yet in his career, his breakthrough performance, the movie that skyrocketed his career. Absolutely snubbed on that. And come on, Gilbert Grape? He was amazing in that role, and he got nominated and didn't win? That is just so sad.

Let's list some of the movies that I think he did awesome in it:

  • What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
  • Romeo + Juliet
  • Titanic (absolute classic)
  • The Man in the Iron Mask (though technically I never watched it but I hear good reviews about it)
  • Catch Me If You Can
  • The Aviator (which I also never watched, but hear good stuff about it)
  • The Departed
  • Blood Diamond
  • Body of Lies
  • Shutter Island (absolute mindfuck, MUST watch)
  • Inception (WATCH IT, I IMPLORE YOU)
  • Django Unchained
  • The Great Gatsby
  • The Wolf of Wallstreet
All these awesome movies he did and he never even won one Oscar for either of these? That should be a crime! I told my hubby time and time again after hearing about his new movie The Revenant, and the rumours behind the filming, that if he doesn't win an Oscar this time, my faith in humanity is shattered and I'll be speechless.

But finally he got his. After 12 years, he finally got the Oscar he deserved.

After shedding blood, sweat and tears over his latest movie The Revenant, with rumours of him eating shit for realsies during the filming, he finally got his dues.

The internet has literally broke from all the "death" of memes making fun of his non-Oscars and now the "birth" of new memes of him winning the Oscars. LOL

That being said, after 12 years, he won ONE Oscar!

ONE!

I know it's better than nothing, but still, ONE!

He deserves more, he deserves the 12 years of his filming career worth of Oscars, people! LOL

Congrats, Leo! May you have more Oscars to come!

Wednesday, February 17, 2016 | By: BlackGargie

Born in The Year of the Monkey

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone! The Sheep has left the building and The Monkey has made its debut!


And so did Jr No#2.

In fact, she came along an hour after Mr Monkey had made its debut.

Lemme just start from the beginning:

As you guys have all known that my due date was predicted to be around the 15th to the 18th of this month, so assuming that, we thought we had ample time to prepare stuff and still get to celebrate CNY with the family. I was so looking forward to the yummy CNY good food and merry making and going around giving while receiving ang pao from my hubby's side of the relatives (he's got like a gajillion of them, so while it's a con for us to give away so much ang pao, it's also a pro for us because we will also receive just as much thanks to our little princess).

I did keep the maternity bag packed on the side just in case, but only packed for myself and not for the baby because we haven't really had the time to pick out new clothes for Jr No2 coz of my hubs' work and I was not in a condition to do long walks of shopping or carrying heavy loads from the store room where our stock of baby clothes from back then during our baby boutique business. And also coz of the false sense of security that we had plenty of time to get everything.

Unfortunately fate and Jr No2 had other plans. On the 7th of February, on a Sunday, no less, when we were all planning to do some last minute CNY clothes shopping for the upcoming open houses we would be going to, I started to have a bloody show. Technically, on Saturday night, I noticed brownish mucus discharge after I went to the bathroom, but thought nothing about it as it wasn't bloody or anything, but somehow I woke up that Sunday morning with the wet feeling between my legs like one of those moments when you realized you had your period and stuff, and I just so happen to have my legs facing my hubs at the time, so he caught a glimpse of my bloody show.

I read in books that usually a bloody show doesn't necessarily mean labor right away, so we held off and tried to pack the rest of my maternity bag as much as possible, which included the baby bag and its necessities. 90% of my own bag was all packed and ready, but only about 10% of the baby bag was packed because we needed new clothes and diapers and other stuff that we didn't find the time to buy, which is our bad, so we rifled through the old stock boxes of clothes that we have when we still ran our baby boutique business back then and just hastily handpicked some clothes that we thought would look nice and gender neutral, since Jr No2 has kept us in the dark about their gender since their first ultrasound.

Then later on, after a late breakfast, I started feeling a bit of pushing down pressure and decided that it would be better to have it checked just in case. So leaving the baby bag behind at home for another day, we brought my maternity bag, just in case, along with my doc's card and paperwork and made our way to the new wing of the hospital building that was recently completed, which is the Women and Children's Hospital Wing. I was told during my last check-up that if anything happens, I am allowed to go straight to the labour room admission area, so we made a beeline there.

After telling them about my symptoms and doing the standard health check, the nurses confirmed I was already 3cm dilated and I was admitted on the spot LOL My hubs had to get started on really packing the baby bag and coming back and forth to the hospital with all my necessities. I was moved to the ward room under admission and observation to see how I was progressing and throughout the day, it was like a standard labour fast-forwarded within a day. I was feeling contractions sooner than expected, irregular at first, like between 10-20 minutes. The feeling of wanting to take a dump but can't, like you got a severe case of constipation, mixed in with a bit of that familiar menstrual cramp feeling got more and more intense as the day turned to night. Managed to make friends with my roomies while I was at it, because why not? We're fellow mothers and there is nothing else to do in this room except socialize, so yeah.

By 12 midnight it was getting more and more frequent (6 mins apart), and I was tempted to get that "sleeping between contractions" drugs that I got when I was in labour with my princess because I was getting tired and I needed the shut eye. But first, I decided to let the nurse check to see how far I was dilated before deciding whether I should take the drugs or weather it through. I was confirmed dilated to 5cm, then I was wheeled off to the labour room. I WhatsApp-ed my hubs about it and let him know which labour room I was admitted to and hope for the best that he can make it because he couldn't exactly stay after visiting hours and the baby bag was still at our place.

While waiting for my hubs to come, I tried my best to weather it out. The feeling was super intense because I could feel everything without the drugs I used to have in my system with no unconscious nap breaks in between. I didn't even have time to ask them to gimme the drugs when my water broke and my body was raring to go. I was 7cm dilated as soon as my water broke and I actually felt it break, like there was some sort of balloon inside me slightly expanded between my legs and popped and out gushed everything. Now that I think about it, compared to the one where my first birth was induced and they popped my water for me, it was a new and unique experience.

I tried to wait for Joe to make it for the delivery, even sent him a voice WhatsApp but sadly Jr No2 didn't want to wait. The pushing sensation was overwhelming, even more so without drugs. It's like I wasn't in control of my body anymore and it just wants to get it over with. I remember the midwife telling me to breathe and the nurses telling me to close my mouth and push like I'm trying to take a dump, and I remember the midwife keep telling me to plant my ass on the seat and not lift it up, and to lift my head till my chin touches my chest when I push, and I remember the midwife and nurses tried to keep my lower half body still but to no avail. It's like my brain is telling me "Yes, ma'am, I hear ya. I'm trying my best" but my body was like "SCREW YOU, BITCH, I'M IN PAIN AND IMMA GONNA DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT, JUST GET THIS KID OUTTA ME".

Joe literally arrived a couple of minutes after Jr No2 was born, so he missed the entire delivery process, sadly for him. I felt a little miffed too that he missed it, partly because he couldn't witness the birth and partly because I had to go through the birth alone unlike my first birth. But it's no biggie. What's done is done. No point dwelling. The nurses showed me Jr No2 and faced their genitals towards me, and turns out that I gave birth to another little princess.

While Jr No2 was being weighed and all that jazz, the nurse told me to try holding still while she stitched me up. I do remember feeling the sting on my lady parts, but I thought it was the nurses trying to help me stretch my folds to ease the baby out, though later after the fact, it turns out that I have sustained some "wear and tear", if you get what I mean. Thus the stitches. During my first birth, I was so doped up I could barely feel them stitching me up, but this time, despite the anesthetic, I could still feel stings from the needle now and then and I would instinctively flinch, but other than that, I tried my best to keep still. My legs were literally shaking from the trauma and the adrenaline rush though, no matter how much I try to control them.

As usual, I requested the nurses to keep the placenta in a plastic bag for us and my hubs gave them ang pao as a token of appreciation. My mom in law also came to see me with more stuff to bring, like we were literally moving house or something, and apparently that was the main reason my hubs was late and missed the birth: my mom in law thought we still had plenty of time before my baby girl will be born, so she kept asking him to do last minute favours and bring last minute stuff for me. Meh~

All in all, Jr No2 got her clean bill of health, and after 24 hours, we were discharged from the hospital and to her new home. My big princess Liara loves her to bits, but we need to remind her time and time again not to be rough though LOL She is literally born on the first day of CNY, just a couple hours after Mr Monkey had made its debut into the new year. I was definitely commented by the doctors and nurses for having a CNY baby, even more so because I'm Chinese, so first day of CNY definitely holds a significant value to hers and our lives.

Neways, here's Jr No2's very first photo, and finally we can announce her name: Elena (pronounced ee-lay-nah) King, born 8th February 2016, 1.56am!




Welcome to the world, Elena~!
Thursday, January 14, 2016 | By: BlackGargie

1-2 More Months to Go...

Wow, I just realized while typing this update of mine that it's about 1-2 more months to go before I can meet my dear little Jr No#2, or technically about 5++ weeks to go, to be exact.

Can't believe time flew by so fast. Before I knew it, I seem to have reached the 8th month pregnancy milestone. It wasn't too much of a bumpy ride, but there has been significant changes and differences compared with my first pregnancy and my current one.

For starters, my morning sickness definitely lasted a little longer (about till I was a bit after 4 months pregnant), I was more lethargic than usual, always wanting to sneak in just a couple hours of sleep, and always craving meat, or anything with protein, like eggs, and sometimes salty foods. Sweet foods doesn't put me off, but it seems almost like my usual sweet tooth has dampened a little, like I could live without it if I don't eat it. Thankfully, the only thing that doesn't change is that I don't have those I-WANNA-GET-IT-RIGHT-NOW-OR-I'LL-DIE cravings, and thankfully I didn't get the dreaded swollen feet and fingers, though once in a while, if I sit down too long, my feet does feel a little swollen, but once I lie down and prop my feet, the swelling feeling subsides.

Unlike my little princess when she was in my womb where she will have her moments of activeness, Jr No#2 is SUPER active, kicking and squirming whether I like it or not, and it's literally settled on my bladder, so I had to go to take a piss slightly more frequently than I did with my girl. And it seems that while my girl was leaning towards the left when I was preggers with her, Jr No#2 is leaning more towards the right, and maybe because it's my second pregnancy, my belly has become slightly descended and stretching out more, making my innie belly-button threaten to turn into an outie and the going-to-pop look more noticable.

A lot of people seem to predict that I'm carrying a boy due to me carrying low, but then my maid, in her belief, I might be carrying a girl BECAUSE I'm carrying low. But research says it's not really reliable since the more times you're pregnant, the more low your belly kinda looks coz of all the stretching during your previous pregnancy involved, so I'm still keeping my options open.

The dreaded sleeping aches returned again as I could never find a comfy spot to sleep through the night. I couldn't sleep on my left like a gajillion experts would suggest during pregnancy because of Jr No#2's size squashing my ribs, making my rib muscle (as well as my old whiplash injury due to a car accident I had) ache like hell, but I couldn't sleep on my right either coz the weight of the baby is leaning towards the right and I somehow have some sort of swollen muscle (hopefully it's not a kidney problem!) on the right side of my back that seemed to get even more aggravated as I get heavier with child, and forget trying to sleep on my back coz I literally get short of breath from that.

Ugh, those are one of the moments where I really wish the pregnancy would be over soon.

My girl has finally started kindy this year, and she was a really happy camper when it comes to school. It was a new environment for her, with new faces and new friends and new routine, although she prefers the outdoor part of the class than the indoors LOL My hubs was being slightly helicopter-y about it, but I try to put my trust on the school to be able to take care of my girl and her educational well-being, since I picked this school coz I trust my eldest sis-in-law's parenting style, though I am curious as to how and what exactly goes on in the classroom while she was there.

Maybe my hubs and I should've stuck around to monitor the situation during the first day of school, but ah well.

We've also finally transitioned our girl to her own room, coz we needed to make room for Jr No#2 and thought she was old enough anyways. She still hasn't gotten over her night terrors, but at least we're slowly weaning her off from our co-sleeping. She was absolutely thrilled to have her own room where she can plenty of space to play around and make a mess without us nagging her about it, and she can have her own private time, but during night time, it was a bit of a challenge. The first couple of nights was a little rough because she will first start off being OK and excited to climb into her own bed to sleep, but once she reached that clockwork time for her night terrors to begin (roughly around 1-2am), she cries like hell no matter how many times we get up to pat her back to sleep until we ended up giving in and let her sleep with us.

After I read some tips online about getting your child a lovey or something with our scent, I tried my luck in letting her have our adult quilt blanket that we were currently using while I changed our own bed with new sheets and new quilt blanket, since we slept in it and will be covered with our scent. It didn't fully alleviate the night terror problems, but at least this time, she slept a little longer past the clockwork time and when we pat her and put her back to her own bed to sleep, she didn't wake up like 5 or 10 minutes later like she used to. She still will wake up around the wee hours of dawn and climbed into bed with us, but at least she wasn't crying, just climbed in and snuggled in with us, making the usual tight squeeze on the bed (since she's getting bigger and my belly is also getting bigger).

All in all, everything seems to be in place for now. I've got my freelance writing career back on track coz of this new writer's payment scheme they're going on ever since my contract for my first story had ended, and catching up a little on my drawings while I'm at home going through with this pregnancy. It will be a matter of time before I have to rejoin the rat race again, but for now, Imma gonna enjoy what I can out of this.

An Unexpected Death


This quote will never be able to come true...

I just found out from my hubby reading from a Kotaku article stating that Alan Rickman, THE Alan Rickman, has passed away at 69 years old due to cancer. Not sure what type of cancer, it was not explicitly stated, but it's cancer, and no one suspected it.

And it happened right after people are still reeling over the death of David Bowie, who also died of cancer, last week.

When I first heard it, my brain was going:

NOOOOOO~~!!!! ALAN RICKMAN~!!!! My Rasputin! My Severus Snape! My reason for adding him in my bucket list of celebrities to meet!! Not Alan Rickman!!! Say it isn't sooooooooooo~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm calm enough to write this post right now, but not calm enough to recover from this denial...

It's hard enough to watch him "die" as Severus Snape in Harry Potter, but now that he's actually dead in real life... I dunno... Words fail me...

I'm numb, but at the same time I'm livid. I want to cry, but at the same time, I couldn't bring the tears out due to the numbness of my heart.

A lot of young people will prolly remember him as this:

While the older generations like me would prolly remember him as these:




But I will always remember him as this:

...because it was this movie of his performance as Rasputin that drew me to know him, to learn about him, to love him, and worship him as one of the greatest actors there ever was.

Alan Rickman...

No...

My lovely, lovely Alan Rickman...

Please tell me...

Tell me it isn't true...

I wanna go die in a tub of feels now...