Thursday, July 5, 2012 | By: BlackGargie

It Could've Been Worse...


A bit of an update on me and Jr, after another hectic few weeks of trying to get the internet to work.

Internet has been super wonky, and also been having some really bad sleeping patterns these days. I tend to get sleepy at the wrong hours of the day and then end up oversleeping in my nap and that caused me to have insomnia at night. I've researched and saw that they said insomnia wouldn't affect me and my baby, but it's still advisable to try and get some proper rest and stuff.

I was kinda disappointed at the gov clinic's version of the ultrasound when I requested for one. First off, the examination recliner I lay on was not much of a recliner as it was an examination table, because it was so flat it actually hurt my back as I lay down as still as I could so that the doc would do my ultrasound.

The doc was another thing: she was quiet the whole time and wouldn't say a word. She kept on scanning and scanning and had a bit of a lost look on her face, and kept scanning one side of my belly and ignored the other side where Jr might be nestling. She was stoic silent for 10 mins straight and wouldn't tell me what's going on, making me worry as to what is she seeing that she would not want to let me know. Is there a problem with the machine? Is there a problem with Jr? What is it?

I would've screamed my head off and demand an explanation if she hadn't just suddenly blurted out of the blue "Your bladder is not full enough. Drink more water and come back again in 30 mins". That's it? That's why you're having trouble seeing Jr? Why don't you frickin' SAY so?? I obliged and drank up my hubby's water bottle he brought along and waited for her to call me back in. 45 mins into waiting, she didn't even bother to check on me and I was left stranded with a full bladder about to burst.

I had to poke my head in and demand to be checked before my hubby is late for work, and after scanning, she finally said that Jr is fine, growing healthy and strong, and the placenta has sorta moved outta the way to where it's supposed to be. When my hubby asked how big and how heavy is Jr, she just kept replying "Yeah, it's at the correct due date" and wouldn't elaborate further. Dude! We're asking about Jr's size, not the due date. Don't you speak English? Meh, that was the last time we would ever trust gov clinic ultrasound. I'm so taking private clinic ultrasound next time around.

Got my flu shot too as part of the vaccination, and got extra vitamins and supplements to take, but no biggie. My mom in law finally got me a maternity milk that doesn't turn my insides out, but I just dunno what the significance is. People back then went along fine without all these supplements and milk nonsense, but my hubby argued that babies back then weren't as healthy and had higher mortality rate than today's baby. I could always argue that his mom had 3 kids which turned out to be totally fine without all this hassle, but I didn't wanna push the issue. At least this milk tasted like normal milk, though I have deep suspicions that it could be just normal milk marketed as maternity milk. Who knows?

Finally then went to private clinic to get a proper ultrasound, but the doc said it wasn't necessary at my stage at the moment, so it's just the usual test and consultation procedure. The doc found a high bit amount of glucose in my urine system, so they tested my blood glucose, but it was surprisingly low. How can my blood and my urine be so different and contradict each other? So weird. The doc said it could be my kidneys, but doesn't say it's an immediate threat, so I dunno. It's so weird. All my urine tests at the gov clinic were fine, but everytime I go for urine test in private clinic there's always something wrong. It's either there's something wrong with the gov clinic's methods or the private clinic. But anyway, the doc scheduled to have my ultrasound when I'm 8 months preggers, so yeah.

Makes me wonder sometimes if my hubby and I (or whomever I marry under my mom's approval) would've been if I were still under my mom's thumb. She already insisted that my hubby MUST move in with me and my mom after marriage, which would totally contradict and piss my in-laws in a tradition sense. She was already quite against their liberal way of raising children, so she had always been very adverse to the way my in-laws' upbringing of my hubby.

And there is no telling whether or not she will curb her abusive, violent ways if I were pregnant. What if she turns into those overbearing mothers and forced me to ingest questionable things that might harm either me or the baby? What if she goes on one of her violent streaks and strike out at me regardless of me being a beached whale? She had already done that before when I was still healing from my vaccination shot, popping my injection sore open before I had to cover up for her in front of my friends.

If she had whacked me without thinking as usual, she would've caused me having a miscarriage, and there is no amount of covering up or apologizing she could do to salvage that. She might even not want to admit that it was her fault, and put the blame on me for making her lash out at me.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is despite the overbearing superstitions and advices and all those restrictions and rules and whatnot that my in-laws are giving me...it could've been worse.

I could've been with my mom.

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