Tuesday, July 31, 2012 | By: BlackGargie

New Updates on Jr

For those who have been following up on Jr throughout my blog, well, so far, nothing too much new to report. Jr is as fiesty as usual, and there have been certain uncomfortable changes on my body recently.

My check-ups were uneventful as usual, coming with a clean bill of health for every visit, but it seems that now Jr has started to make my left side of the belly as their permanent position. Occasionally I would see Jr kicking and stretching and the left side of my belly would be sticking out quite a bit, and it would kinda look creepy sometimes, as if I've got some kind of alien in my belly, LOL. Other than kicking and "slithering" around, Jr is just their normal self all day long.

Got my required tetanus shot though, and the nurses always seem to be very intrigued by my tattoo every time I raise my sleeve to get my shot, and also always make it sound like it's gonna hurt like hell when the shot was barely even a pin-prick. I guess they thought I was one of those sensitive people who would go "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, THAT HURTS!!!" over a little bit of pain. My pain tolerance is quite high, thank you very much

My childhood friend came over to surprise visit me last weekend, and I was indeed surprised because I had not expected her at all. She said her schedule would not allow her to come visit during the birth, so she decided to come earlier instead. We had fun, eating out, chatting over old times, played bowling (she does most of the playing though), and stayed up late to play pool with her and my hubby and his BFF and colleague and cousin. I wanted to play pool too since it was not a strenuous activity but everyone was against it, worried that it might harm Jr, but I was adamant about it. If I'm not allowed to play bowling and I'm gonna be sitting for hours in a pool arena, then by God, I'm gonna at least shoot a few games. Putting my foot down, I played a few games, though the first game was under the super worried watchful eyes of my hubby, treating me like a freaking porcelain doll and worried if I could bend and such. I can understand their worry, but this overprotectiveness is really annoying sometimes.

Though poor hubby felt super tired coz even though I was ready to go after the time seemed to be getting rather late and we have to go meet my eldest sis in law the next day, his BFF urged him to stay a little longer since my childhood friend is leaving early in the morning next day. We stayed for another hour and a half with my hubby looking tired and listless and super blank (prolly his way of protesting) before they finally got the damn hint and let us go. Needless to say, we were too tired to wake up to go meet my eldest sis in law at the airport and overslept.

Now Jr has given me a new problem now that I'm coming into my 8th month. I'm starting to have pelvic aches, mostly on the right side of my back hip and between my crotch (pubic bone) area. I think it's called Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD), which is quite common during later terms of pregnancy because of my pelvic seems to have sorta loosening of the ligaments or something coz it's preparing for childbirth.

I think it's slightly related to pelvic girdle pain or something, so now getting up from sitting or lying down in bed is like hell and I'm sorta kinda starting to waddle like a duck a little while walking. Standing and walking is fine, but it's mostly after I sit for a period of time, lying down in bed resting or reading, and when I wake up from bed after an all-night's sleep. From what I read, it'll go away after birth (hopefully) so I'll just have to bear with it because there is no medical cure or treatment or whatever. Keeping my fingers crossed right now

I would occasionally feel just a little bit of Braxton Hicks contractions, or false labour/practice contractions, but it's not very often (either that or it's just my imagination or just Jr moving). I think my uterus has been stretched to its limit now, coz I could really feel the tightness around my belly, and the feeling of Jr was even more obvious coz Jr has not much room to move around more and is literally stretching within me, that I can sometimes feel it on my sides or wherever my nerves are closest to Jr. I can even literally feel Jr stretching and pushing against my bladder, and it's not exactly a very comfy feeling XP I guess Jr is starting to get a little cramped and want to stretch their legs out more.

Hang in there, Jr, just one more month to go.

Our Guests Have Arrived~

Guess who's back in town?

My eldest sis in law, of course. LOL!

She had been planning to come over here to Brunei to spend the summer hols with us, and she came with her 3 kids, well, technically 4, since she's pregnant again now. LOL! I got a temp pregger buddy now, and now that she's here, she might also be a good help to the baby business as her way of killing time and stuff.

Her 3 kids have grown pretty big after about a year or two away from us. The eldest son was slightly more mature now and we can more or less talk to him like a young adult or something, and easier to talk to (still as inquisitive as he used to be) and doesn't have the temper and lack of anger management as he used to. Prolly being in karate did him some good.

The daughter is as wistful as usual, and has a bit of a British accent after getting used to life in London, but at least we can still understand her. She's still artistic as usual, and bookish too, as she still likes to read, but she's still playful sometimes and serves as a surrogate elder sister to my other niece from the second sis in law.

The youngest son, no surprise, was fiesty, crazy and naughty as we knew him, but not as bad as he used to be. He's still silly and the jokester of the family, and he's much more articulate than he used to be back then, and would be just a random hoot sometimes. He also serves as a surrogate bro/playmate to my other nephew from the second sis in law.

We're gonna have a super chaotic environment for this whole month, so hopefully we'll be able to get along and have a good experience together.
Sunday, July 8, 2012 | By: BlackGargie

A Divine Comedy

Just had to share this short little entry with you guys that tells me that God does work in mysterious ways.

Remember when I was ranting in my previous entry about not being able to go to pay my respects for my friend who passed away? Well, guess what? Neither did my hubby nor my BFF.

No, I did not sabotage their car or kept my hubby prisoner or anything, but this is really like a divine comedy right here. You see, I was slowly stirring from my sleep, waking up remembering that I'll be home alone today coz my hubby and my BFF has gone down Miri to pay their respects. I was expecting maybe for me to sulk all day and prolly go hang out with my buddy and maybe go on a Coffee Bean binge or something to make me feel better, so long as I don't have to stay home alone.

That was when my hubby suddenly showed up at the door looking both amused and awkward while I was looking up from my bed at him oddly. That was when he told me that the trip was off. I dunno fully the details, but apparently when they reached the Brunei border to get to the other side, my BFF realized from the immigration toll clerk there that his visa has expired and he couldn't cross until he renewed it. He totally didn't check and didn't know that he had an expired visa! LOL! You'd expect to be a bit thorough when it comes to traveling but apparently it slipped his mind! XD

So poor guys, after an hour drive to reach the border, couldn't make it to Miri for the trip to pay their respects. They had to turn back, stop by at KB for breakfast and come home to settle the journey another time. My dad in law said in amusement that it's prolly a sign telling them to never leave a woman behind when she has her mind made up to do something, lol, so most likely we might decide to go after Jr is born after all.

If that is not some kind of divine comedy intervention, I dunno what is XD
Saturday, July 7, 2012 | By: BlackGargie

Superstition Sucks Eggs~!

Feeling a little pissed off right now, so I thought I'd get it off my chest coz like they say "Don't go to bed angry".

Neways, it's official: I'm not allowed to go and pay my respects to my friend whom I mentioned had passed away a week ago. Why? Because apparently it's one of the biggest taboos of us Chinese community about anything associated with the dead.

We Chinese has a strong belief that any place that houses the dead are considered 'dirty' in a spiritual sense. And we believe that pregnant women and babies are the most vulnerable to these 'unclean' entities around us. So basically if I go, I'd risk getting me or Jr possessed by evil or wandering spirits, like trying to mess around with an Ouija board if you're not experienced or something like that. And it seems that both my in-laws were very adamant about this taboo.

And they said if I still insist on going, then I should not set foot into the deceased's house, prolly coz I might attract negative energy or something. Then what the fuck is the point of going all the way there then, if I can set foot in neither the cemetery nor the house? What am I supposed to do, sit around in the car all day like an idiot waiting for the affair to be over? The whole point of going over to pay your respects IS to go to the grave and the family's home to offer condolences! WTF, man?!

This just makes me feel so bad. It's like fate is not allowing me to do at least one good deed or the courtesy to pay my respects to a friend. It just totally sucks! What if it were happen to my own family member? What if it were to happen to my dad? Are you telling me that just because I'm pregnant, I have to abide this stupid taboo and not allowed to even give my dad a proper last respect and farewell? Is abiding taboos more important than doing the moral thing?

Not that I wanna put the blame on Jr or anything, but it's times like these that being preggers suck, or being Chinese for that matter
Friday, July 6, 2012 | By: BlackGargie

Bridex Consumer Fair

My buddy and I went to another installment of the Consumer Fair for this mid-year, and this time it's held in the BRIDEX area in Jerudong Park near the Polo Court. It was a bit of a long drive, and we were hoping that it would be worth the trip this time, considering that it's the 10th Consumer Fair in Brunei.

Unfortunately it was a disappointing one. Instead of it being a sorta huge accommodating fair as it should be when they did it in ICC (since they had to do it there at BRIDEX because ICC is under renovation for some sort of ASEAN conference/convention or something), it was kinda cramped, with no distinction between the commercial and services stalls and the food stalls, and there is very little food-tasting, which I was counting on for the Consumer Fair since I could settle my lunch there like the past few Consumer Fairs I've been, but I actually had to settle my lunch at the actual food cafeterias there and spend MONEY there. Which is sad, considering it shows how little the food stalls are.

And there were no activity booths and stuff like they used to have in ICC, or nice exhibits and stuff, only to be replaced with some exhibit of used cars for sale. Other than that, there's nothing impressive about the fair this time around. Which is so sad. This is their 10th fair, they should make it even more impressive, like doing it in Empire or something, even though there is no room in ICC.

These are the only things I think I'd like to share and are the nicer parts of the fair. If you wanna see more, you can go here

P/S: Had to share this little fact: Passed by a wedding studio booth while browsing around and got those dreaded "shiny-eyed look of a prospective target" from the pesky wedding studio salesman. Tricked him and told him that me and my buddy are siblings.

His reaction: priceless XD
Thursday, July 5, 2012 | By: BlackGargie

It Could've Been Worse...

A bit of an update on me and Jr, after another hectic few weeks of trying to get the internet to work.

Internet has been super wonky, and also been having some really bad sleeping patterns these days. I tend to get sleepy at the wrong hours of the day and then end up oversleeping in my nap and that caused me to have insomnia at night. I've researched and saw that they said insomnia wouldn't affect me and my baby, but it's still advisable to try and get some proper rest and stuff.

I was kinda disappointed at the gov clinic's version of the ultrasound when I requested for one. First off, the examination recliner I lay on was not much of a recliner as it was an examination table, because it was so flat it actually hurt my back as I lay down as still as I could so that the doc would do my ultrasound.

The doc was another thing: she was quiet the whole time and wouldn't say a word. She kept on scanning and scanning and had a bit of a lost look on her face, and kept scanning one side of my belly and ignored the other side where Jr might be nestling. She was stoic silent for 10 mins straight and wouldn't tell me what's going on, making me worry as to what is she seeing that she would not want to let me know. Is there a problem with the machine? Is there a problem with Jr? What is it?

I would've screamed my head off and demand an explanation if she hadn't just suddenly blurted out of the blue "Your bladder is not full enough. Drink more water and come back again in 30 mins". That's it? That's why you're having trouble seeing Jr? Why don't you frickin' SAY so?? I obliged and drank up my hubby's water bottle he brought along and waited for her to call me back in. 45 mins into waiting, she didn't even bother to check on me and I was left stranded with a full bladder about to burst.

I had to poke my head in and demand to be checked before my hubby is late for work, and after scanning, she finally said that Jr is fine, growing healthy and strong, and the placenta has sorta moved outta the way to where it's supposed to be. When my hubby asked how big and how heavy is Jr, she just kept replying "Yeah, it's at the correct due date" and wouldn't elaborate further. Dude! We're asking about Jr's size, not the due date. Don't you speak English? Meh, that was the last time we would ever trust gov clinic ultrasound. I'm so taking private clinic ultrasound next time around.

Got my flu shot too as part of the vaccination, and got extra vitamins and supplements to take, but no biggie. My mom in law finally got me a maternity milk that doesn't turn my insides out, but I just dunno what the significance is. People back then went along fine without all these supplements and milk nonsense, but my hubby argued that babies back then weren't as healthy and had higher mortality rate than today's baby. I could always argue that his mom had 3 kids which turned out to be totally fine without all this hassle, but I didn't wanna push the issue. At least this milk tasted like normal milk, though I have deep suspicions that it could be just normal milk marketed as maternity milk. Who knows?

Finally then went to private clinic to get a proper ultrasound, but the doc said it wasn't necessary at my stage at the moment, so it's just the usual test and consultation procedure. The doc found a high bit amount of glucose in my urine system, so they tested my blood glucose, but it was surprisingly low. How can my blood and my urine be so different and contradict each other? So weird. The doc said it could be my kidneys, but doesn't say it's an immediate threat, so I dunno. It's so weird. All my urine tests at the gov clinic were fine, but everytime I go for urine test in private clinic there's always something wrong. It's either there's something wrong with the gov clinic's methods or the private clinic. But anyway, the doc scheduled to have my ultrasound when I'm 8 months preggers, so yeah.

Makes me wonder sometimes if my hubby and I (or whomever I marry under my mom's approval) would've been if I were still under my mom's thumb. She already insisted that my hubby MUST move in with me and my mom after marriage, which would totally contradict and piss my in-laws in a tradition sense. She was already quite against their liberal way of raising children, so she had always been very adverse to the way my in-laws' upbringing of my hubby.

And there is no telling whether or not she will curb her abusive, violent ways if I were pregnant. What if she turns into those overbearing mothers and forced me to ingest questionable things that might harm either me or the baby? What if she goes on one of her violent streaks and strike out at me regardless of me being a beached whale? She had already done that before when I was still healing from my vaccination shot, popping my injection sore open before I had to cover up for her in front of my friends.

If she had whacked me without thinking as usual, she would've caused me having a miscarriage, and there is no amount of covering up or apologizing she could do to salvage that. She might even not want to admit that it was her fault, and put the blame on me for making her lash out at me.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is despite the overbearing superstitions and advices and all those restrictions and rules and whatnot that my in-laws are giving me...it could've been worse.

I could've been with my mom.

A Shocking Loss

I was totally shocked when I heard the news from my BFF and saw him posted this obituary pic on Facebook.

A long time dear friend of ours had passed on a week ago due to pneumonia, and prolly due to the hectic schedule of funerals and stuff, we only heard about the news when his wife WhatsApp-ed my BFF today.

It was a total shock to us all, including me. He was my BFF and my hubby's roomie and best friend when they were in college, and when I settled in into college, he was my first friend that I made. He was prolly part of the off-campus community or something, and he helped us out with moving in my things, helping me to set up my computer, and even helped me get out of a jam when my car battery died (due to my fault coz I keep forgetting to start up the engine everyday) and help me get it replaced before my mom was the wiser.

He even introduced me to my BFF. If it weren't for him, I would never have known my BFF and subsequently never have known my hubby.

I was considering to join my BFF and my hubby to go down to visit the family to extend my condolences and see if they needed anything, but they advised against it since I was pregnant and not fit for travel. The thing is I'm not really that due yet, so travelling shouldn't be an issue, and after all, it's been a week since he passed, and I'm sure the funeral is over and done with and there wouldn't be any effect on me since the travel is much shorter than traveling to my hometown and it's after the fact. Not that I want to be inconsiderate to Jr or anything, but come on, it's the guy who got me started on college. There isn't much room for me to be superstitious and all that.

I will always see you as my very first friend I made when I was a freshman in college, and I will always remember you as the first person who extended a helping hand at my time of need.

RIP, my friend