Tuesday, February 7, 2012 | By: BlackGargie

I Lost It

I just did something that I dunno whether is the right thing or not.

I fought with my 2nd sis in law.

Remember in my previous blog entries about how my 2nd sis in law is really mean to her little girl? Well, she was being mean again today and I lost it.

I shouted at her and told her she was the worst mother ever.

No, maybe not just like that. There's technically more to it than that

I just heard her shouting and screaming and being mean to her little girl, saying things like "Why do you always make me pissed?" "Stop crying! Do you know how spoiled you are!" "Don't give me that!" "I gave birth to you, fed you, clothed you and took you to the hospital when you're sick! Why do you always have to repay me by pissing me off? (What does she want? A fucking trophy from her little girl?)" "Do you hate us? You don't like Mommy and Daddy, is that what you're implying?" "Stop crying over the littlest things!" "You're spoiled, that's what you are! You're spoiled and rotten by both your grandparents!" and I just lost it.

Maybe it's because of my mood swing, maybe I thought I saw my mom in her, or maybe I just couldn't take it anymore. I really yelled at her and started a huge fight. I didn't care that she got upset at me and told me to mind my own business, or that I don't have any kids and I wouldn't understand (I'm going to HAVE kids, bitch!! Is that good enough for you?!) how to raise a kid. She told me to leave it alone, this does not concern me and if I want to cry, go cry to my hubby and don't get involved with their business. I told her that she's living under the same roof now and even if I don't want to, I AM involved in their affairs coz they're doing it right in front of me.

I shouted at her for being so bias, questioned her about her parenting, and asked her if that is all she can see in her little girl, about how spoiled or how evil or how naughty she is, not caring whether she is sick or not. I told her she deserves to be spoiled, she deserves to be pampered, because does she even know how sick she is? I told her that sooner or later she will end up scolding her little girl to death and it would be all her fault, and if she really hates her little girl so much, she might as well let ME have her and be done with it. She told me to keep my voice down and I'm scaring the kids, but I said I don't give a fuck, if that's what it takes for her to get my words into her thick noggin'.

I've never been so angry in my life. I even scared my grandma in law and the kids. It was then in the back of my mind I noticed that even though I was speaking (more like shouting) for the little girl, in the end, she went running for her mom even though she had just scolded her like hell. Why? I couldn't get it. I spoke for her. I said in her defense. Why would she want to seek comfort from the very person who had dissed her? I just don't get it. Is it because she's young and didn't get it, and only saw me as a fierce shouting lunatic? I dunno.

My maid had to call my dad in law to come sort it out. He advised me to go to my room to cool off, so I did, trying to ignore (unsuccessfully) her shouts to get back her and don't try to hide from her (calling her 'Fuck you' as I ran upstairs). I stayed there, crying to myself, feeling sorry for myself, wondering if I did the right thing, if I had been over the top, or letting my mood swing get in the way of things. Or maybe I was still haunted by my mom and seeing my sis in law doing these things to her little girl brought back my demons.

My dad in law came into my room later on after he had a long talk with his daughter. He appreciated my effort and was glad I shouted at her because he knows that she was being mean to her kid, he just doesn't know how to bring it up, and I've given him a chance to give her a proper scolding. But I dunno, I might've made the situation worse, I might make my sis in law hate me even more.

And I felt even bad (though it sounds kinda funny) when my maids told me that my grandma in law was terrified by my outburst and was surprised that I've got such a temper and loud pipes. She even called me a gangster behind my back. Heh. I dunno whether to think of it as a compliment or not.

Somehow, later in the day, the little girl forgot all about my outburst and actually came to our room to want to play with me and my hubby. Of course her mother didnt want to talk to me, so I think she purposely had her son to call her little girl when it's time for her bed, and when I came down for dinner, they've already eaten before us (prolly to avoid me) and when she walks past, she thinks I don't notice it, but I knw she's stealing glares at me.

I heard my dad in law told us at the dinner table about what he talked to her. He told her that he knows she's been really mean and treating her little girl very bias, and it's pretty obvious from the way her eldest and youngest son are so robust and healthy while her little girl is so tiny and thin and frail.

He forced her to stop denying that she's been bias, and warned her that either she fess up and step up her game or he will either take custody of the little girl or have her husband involved and sit them down to lecture them about parenting and he knows she doesn't want her husband to be involved because her husband will get mad at her.

When her husband is mad, there will be hell to pay for her, so she'd rather save her own skin n step up her game and he told her that if she is not happy about us interfering wtih her parenting, better find some place else to lodge in rather than ours so tht we dont hv to see it, because if we see it, we're bound to interfere. She can't afford to lodge in some place else because they have nowhere else to go while their new home is being renovated.

I guess it'll be a while (prolly a long while) for her to finally get in talking grounds with me, or be civil for that matter. But I'm still not confident about her change. She is starting to behave more civilly with her little girl now...but I'll give her a few months before she goes back to her old habits again.

I just wish right now that she and her whole family just move outta this house and to their new home and never make us bother or worry about all this family issue.