Tuesday, February 14, 2012 | By: BlackGargie

Here's Jr! Sorta...

Finally went to our doc's appointment today to get an ultrasound. And on Valentine's Day too! Isn't that a cooky coincidence? LOL

I was pretty nervous a few days before my appointment. I was terrified. What if something was wrong? What if it's all a phantom pregnancy after all? What if the docs find nothing in there? What if it didn't grow well? What if it's there, but something went wrong? I even had nightmares twice about losing Jr in a pool of blood, and I wake up scared and breathless and heart pounding like mad, because my dreams have an occasional tendency to be true sometimes.

My chat friends tell me to keep my chin up and think positive, and try to take care of myself the best I can. My hubby said no matter what happens, he will be by my side and support me all the way, even if my worst fear does happen.

So I tried. I tried my best. In the midst of the endless cycle of getting hungry, then puke, then get hungry again, I tried to keep my spirits up. Morning sickness was torture though. They should call it all-day sickness instead, coz I barely could hold down anything, and I couldn't eat too much at a time or I'll just hurl my guts out. I ate very little in the main meals and had super small snacks in between, just to ease the hunger and not make myself puke. I have no idea how bulimics and aneroxics can take it. Hurling half-digested food is NOT a walk in the park.

Finally, when the appointment day came, I was almost praying to myself that I hope everything would be alright and that it would fall into place. I was advised to fill up my bladder and chug lots of water half an hour before the ultrasound to make it easier for them to scan me, but my fear of hurling caused me to not dare to drink as much as I should. The usual weight, temperature and blood pressure check came in, and I was surprised that 2 weeks ago, I was 74kg and now I was 72.5kg! I lost 2.5kg in the past 2 weeks! I guess those bulimics and aneroxics DO have something going on there...

So during the ultrasound scan, after a bit of scanning and not so clear images (and a frickin' cold gel to boot), the doc decided to help me do a vaginal ultrasound instead as it's more intimate and more accurate up close. She said a lot of patients who didn't like this sort of procedure as it was quite intrusive (to the typical conservative Bruneians anyways), but I don't really see anything wrong with it, really. It's just a medical procedure where you have a device up your vagina, and handled by a female doctor, no less. I don't see why they should hate it.

Well, OK, now that I put it, it does sound a little intrusive.

Thank goodness I decided to shave last night during shower. I prolly had a premonition that I was going to get this instead of the normal ultrasound scan. Wouldn't want them to see that "Amazon Jungle" between my legs there. LOL

Anyway, once the scanning device was inside, all my fears were gone. There it was, Jr, the little itty-bitty Jr growing there inside me. She shifted the device a little to bring it closer to Jr and there it was, its little heart beat away. It was so quick! We couldn't hear anything yet, but it was there. Not the usual Da-Dup...Da-Dup...that we're used to hearing on everyone's chest, but it just went Da-Dup-Da-Dup-Da-Dup-Da-Dup non-stop. So fast! I've never seen a heart beat so fast, pulsing away so quickly. It just made my own heart flutter and wanna just squee at the sight of it. My hubby also looked like he was gonna squee right there and then, but settled for chuckling like an idiot instead XD

The doc, after some calculation and finding out my last period, suspected that Jr was conceived roughly between the 30th Dec last year to about 1st or 2nd of Jan this year, give or take 4 or 5 more days in between. Which make Jr technically a new year baby! LOL! Isn't that sweet? And in Chinese culture, I'm carrying a dragon baby now, since this is the year of the dragon and my estimated due date is sometime in Sept this year. Talk about lucky, as they say. Though my imagination seem to fly about, thinking that I'm having a dragon inside me instead of an actual baby. Woah! Wouldn't that be a predicament?

All in all, Jr was a-OK, nestled there nicely and comfy, fully dependent on me to keep it alive and growing, which makes me feel a big responsibility coming up to let it live till term. It'll be quite a challenge ahead, and I know for sure, since I've babysat a number of kids throughout my life, but let's just hope, like everyone says, it'll be worth it.

Anyhow, here's a picture of Jr! Click on the pic to get a full-size view~!