Tuesday, August 23, 2011 | By: BlackGargie

Toughest Decision Ever Made

Sorry for the rants, but you can see how things been going on lately in my life that one blog post is just not enough to express all of them.

~sigh~ If you are a follower of my dA account and read my dA journal I posted a week ago, I'm still recovering from the fact that my RP friend is ignoring me even though she agreed to end this 2-year long RP we've been doing bcoz she simply lost the mood to continue.

It's our OJ RP I Almost Said I Love You (IASILY), if you do follow up on that, and it is Thrax/Ozzy and yaoi in nature. I felt really bad that time. She was my super fan, she stalked me and found me on msn aftr reading my Osmosis Jones fanfic. She was so enthusiastic, she loved me, and when she requested to start an RP with me, she was so happy.

It was one of the toughest decision I've ever had to make, since that RP was 2 years running, then she just suddenly lost her motivation sometime end of last yr n had nvr been enthusiastic evr since and I told her its either we give it up or we keep it going like we used to, but she said she can keep it going bt not like we used to because she lost her RP motivation, and I said, "OK, that's settled, we have to end it."

She said "OK, but I hate ending RPs though" and then just sorta not talking to me no matter how many times I asked her if she was really, really OK with it and not hating me for it.

I know I take pride in my inhuman level of patience, but she can go for months without RPing and when we do RP, which I always am the one intitiating, she would go for hours without replying me, and sometimes just not reply at all and went to bed without letting me know.

It's my first time to cry over a decision I made though, coz I never felt so bad. The way she ignored me like it was as if I'm the bad person. I actually curled up against my hubby and cried in his arms telling him how bad I felt, and when I told it to another fan/stalker/doppelganger of mine, I was also having tears streaming down my face.

~sigh~ I've never felt so bad about a decision I made. Do you think I did the right thing? Or am I just being selfish?


Amy said...

You made the right decision. I loved your role-play, I followed it religiously almost. But your and your role-play partner's happiness is what matters. She might feel guilty, which is why she won't speak to you. It was a great thing that ended.