Sunday, July 31, 2011 | By: BlackGargie

Gender Equality is for Shits

I found this in Tumblr and I just HAD to share this:

I have been separated from my wife for over a year, though we continue to share a house. We live on separate floors. We share the house because we need to parent our son together, and because we can’t afford to maintain two households.

I’d like to tell you a story, illustrating one reason why I am divorcing her. This is an example of the treatment I have received over the past fourteen years.

This evening, while she was drinking her wine, my estranged wife took exception to the fact that I wanted to talk about how tense she’s been. She said she didn’t want to talk about it.

I left the room (so as to comply with her request).

I went upstairs to use our tiny guest bathroom. She began to yell and throw things around the kitchen, then eventually charged up the stairs and into the bathroom, just as I was finishing and getting ready to leave. She confronted me there, holding her half-full wine glass in her hand. Her voice got louder, her gestures wilder.

She complained that I had upset her by wanting to talk when she had told me she didn’t want to talk. As I began to feel uncomfortable, I said, “You’re saying it’s my fault you can’t express your emotions responsibly like an adult?”

She said, “Yes!! It’s because you want to go off and take a vacation with your girlfriend!” Then she threw the contents of her glass in my face and smashed it against my bare chest.

The results are pictured here.

I stood there, with shattered glass at my feet, glass shards sticking in my skin, bleeding, for five minutes or so. I asked her to move so that I could leave. She waved the broken stem of the glass in the air and said, “Leave!! Who’s stopping you?”

I told her she was standing between me and the door. I felt threatened.

She laughed and said, “You’re 6 foot 3 and 250 pounds! You can’t feel threatened by me!”

I said, “You just broke a glass on my chest and cut me. You’re standing there with the stem in your hands. Yes. I feel threatened.

She said, “No, you don’t.”

I asked her to move out of the way and let me pass. I didn’t want her to think I was pushing her or threatening her.

She held her ground, waved the broken stem and shouted, “Go on! Leave! I’m not stopping you!”

After I asked her repeatedly, she finally moved a bit and I left, carefully stepping over the broken glass.

I have posted this here as evidence, and to help those who may think that size and gender make a difference when abuse is concerned. People who, like my estranged, think some have permission to feel threatened and some don’t.

Abusers come in all sizes and genders.

She and I went to a half dozen therapists over the years. At each initial session, every therapist took a look at me, then at her (5’4” 150 lbs.). Then he or she would gravely ask my wife, “Do you feel safe?”

None ever thought to ask me.

Thanks for listening.

This is the main reason why gender equality is for shits. It is always the case: When a man abuses a wife, people scream bloody murder, but when a woman abuses a husband, it is unheard of and people will think “Oh, well, that man deserved it anyway”

This world is some fucked up shit

Friday, July 29, 2011 | By: BlackGargie

Hogwarts Wedding

Grabbed it from here

Wedding Magic: Amazing Harry Potter-Inspired Weddings

July 13, 2011

In honor of the final Harry Potter movie, we had to share these two amazing Hogwarts-inspired weddings! Pulling off a theme wedding is difficult—especially when it comes to Harry Potter. There's a fine line between classy and looking like an 8-year-old's birthday party. But these two weddings fall firmly on the side of classy. Check them out!

Christine and Andy's Wedding

The first, courtesy of Geoff White Photographers, features a couple that actually met because of Harry Potter! Christine and Andy met online through a post about Harry Potter news, so it seemed only natural for their wedding to be influenced by the series.

harry potter wedding invitation

We love the wax seal on the invitation—look closely, that's Hedwig on the seal!harry potter wedding hogwarts express

All aboard the Hogwarts Express!

harry potter wedding forbidden forest

After a gorgeous ceremony, the bride and groom snuck away to the Forbidden Forest.harry potter wedding godrics hallow

Such a beautiful spot for photos—and it reminds us of Godric's Hallow.harry potter wedding details

Is that a time turner we see? Be sure to grab a glass of butterbeer. And we love that even Neville's toad Trevor and the lion of Gryffindor made appearances. harry potter wedding guest

Professor Trelawney, is that you?harry potter wedding sorting hat and wands

Finding your seat has never been more fun... just leave it up to the sorting hat. Tthe wands were personalized with the name and wedding date of the couple, and each has a tag telling you which house you belong in. Don't forget: "The wand chooses the wizard."harry potter wedding table signs

After being named to their houses by the sorting hat, guests went to join their fellow guests at their house table. Where do you belong?harry potter wedding great hall

This beautiful reception venue is reminiscent of Hogwarts' beloved Great Hall.harry potter wedding wands

Guests loved playing with their wands!

Spectra and Sawyer's Wedding

Photographed by Erin Johnson Photography, Spectra and Sawyer's wedding featured a Honeydukes candy buffet, butterbeer, and of course more magic wands. We love the attention to detail here—wait til you see the ceremony program!spectra and sawyer harry potter wedding

harry potter wedding ceremony

Guests cast a spell on the happy couple during their ceremony.harry potter wedding ceremony

We love that the ceremony program distributor got into character — doesn't she remind you of Mrs. Weasley?harry potter wedding

Check out these amazing details! We don't think this couple is going to need any Felix Felicis (luck potion). Hedwig and Pigwidgeon are ready to bring the wedding gifts home. The ceremony program is fashioned after the Marauder's Map, and guests signed the guest book using a quill and ink.harry potter wedding

The reception tent is reminiscent of Bill and Fleur's wedding at the Burrows.harry potter wedding

Guests stocked up on delicious treats from Honeydukes!

Would you throw a Harry Potter-inspired wedding?

Wednesday, July 27, 2011 | By: BlackGargie

The Road Not Taken

It has been done.

I have finally set my foot down and submitted my 2-weeks notice resignation letter to my super telling him that I am quitting due to "a better offer", though technically in reality it's not so.

I'm quitting because I had it with the company. Under-appreciated, drama, bad time and office staff management, bosses who don't give a damn, politics, bad-mouthers and back-stabbers...All this made into a primordial soup of company disaster.

And by the end of this week, I will officially be considered as ex-worker of my company.

But then I began to worry as the thought of job-hunting would plunge me into a life of routine, and my dreams as a manga-ka would be forgone and lost forever.

Which somehow brought me into thinking about the paths that I have chosen.

Even though the fact remains that I couldn't change the past, sometimes thinking back on all the choices that were laid bare that I didn't choose got me curious as to what would have happened if I've taken down a different path.

I chose to: Forgo a possible road to become the youngest writer -- > Go to an all-girls Muslim convent school (well, I didn't really choose it, it was done by the school board, and I was denied a co-ed school) -- > Decide on forgoing Art Stream and picked Science Stream (to please my mother and lighten the burden of expenses of going to a private art college since during those days, government and public art colleges did not exist) -- > Gone on to take A-Levels and choose Economics Stream even though I have no more interest in studying (due to the fact that my Science Stream didn't go so well, I had to choose the next best thing) -- > Choose college over work (due to the fact that the company I worked with didn't want to have female workers for their new position) -- > Choose my hubby and risked everything, even my education, to come to Brunei

Those were the choice I have made. I may have regretted some of them, one being to let go of my friend's offer to have my written novel published when I was 12 back then, and the other being to have not followed my heart and choose Art Stream, but it's something I can no longer change. Not in the long run.

I remembered the fateful day I finally asked my mother who was the one who drew a rather beautiful portrait of a Japanese woman in a wedding kimono, and she told me that it was a wedding gift from a Japanese manga-ka, who, at the time, was pretty prime with a famous manga (totally forgot the name) whom she used to work as an art assistant as (fucking hypocrite, she drew manga but didn't allow ME to follow her footsteps). He liked her very much and tried to woo her, but she was dating my dad at the time and when she announced she was getting married, he became a shut-in for a week before producing that masterpiece to her, and the Japanese woman was supposedly her.

Then I thought plenty:

If she had chosen the Japanese guy, what would have been? There is no say that I couldn't be conceived through him, and my future would've been pretty bright as a manga-ka.

If I had chosen to take my friend's offer to publish my book, what would have been? I would've probably been the youngest writer in Malaysian history to write a supernatural sci-fi story inspired by the works of X-Files.

If I had followed my heart and chosen Art Stream instead of being a people-pleaser and chose Science Stream, what would have been? I could've been in some art college regardless the expenses I am able to squeeze outta my mom, and maybe would be at somewhere doing graphic designs or whatnot. It wouldn't be manga, but it's still art, something that I love to do.

If I had followed my heart and told my mom that I don't want to study anymore, no colleges, no A-Levels, no nothing, what would've been? I may prolly be some working class citizen, but then I could do whatever I want, even brush up on my manga

If I...


I may come up with a lot of "If I"-s, but the fact still remained.

If I had chosen all that, I would still be my mother's prisoner.

I would never had met my current friends, I would not have met my BFF, and I would not have met my hubby, and I definitely would not have been able to get where I am, which is a happy life, a loving husband and free from the hell-hole life as a survivor of domestic abuse.

Like my BFF once quoted to me from a guy he read up on:
Whatever you are doing in the present defines your future
I've got still a long road ahead. I can still work my way to my dreams from here.

Still, it's just a curiosity. No biggie.
Monday, July 25, 2011 | By: BlackGargie

EA Con '11 (Day 2)

Here be the continuation of the EA Con, Day 2. So far so good, though I almost couldn't wake up coz I had this super massive drinking binge at my hubby's cousin's home that got me so dead drunk and puking all over the place that it kinda burned my throat from my vomit and had me sporting a sore throat for almost 2 weeks and a nasty cough, but that's a different story.

Anywho, back to the con, here are some piccies that I took on that day:

Random cosplayer in Japanese outfit (though I suspect they could be cosplaying someone from Samurai Champloo)

Awesome cosplaying, though I totally forgot what or who were they cosplaying at (prolly of Vocaloid)

Random witch cosplayer

Another Vocaloid cosplayer (I think)

Going regal~!

Armstrong's sister from Full Metal Alchemist!

Sasuke and Madara from Naruto

Random cosplayer again

Moar YuGiOh cards ftw

Moar clients to employ my drawing services

Someone who managed to grab a pic of me doing a client's drawing

Free gift segment time, where we were given the identity of certain characters that they are playing and they have to guess it themselves through the Yes or No questions. There's identities like Lady Gaga, Pedo Bear, Luffy, Hatsune Miku, Batman and Haruhi Suzumiya. We totally had a larf trying to psycho them into guessing

Joker in da howze~!

Totally forgot what is she supposed to cosplay as ^^;

Oh yeah! Lelouch from Code Geass

Samurai Champloo cosplayer

Darth Vader on the loose~!! Yagh~!!!

I think this girl is supposed to cosplay as Namine from Kingdom Hearts, but can't be too sure either

Ichigo Kurosaki from Bleach, Hollow style

Me as Rukia vs Ichigo!

Another Hogwarts cosplayer as a Gryffindor

Kid Vampire Knight cosplayer

Moar gurl powerz, with the addition of Black Rock Shooter from Vocaloid

The main character from Onegai Magi...or something in that sense, well, that's pretty much what I'm getting from him

I totally forgot what is she supposed to cosplay as, but the spear looks awesome-tastic

Maid outfit galore~!

Looks almost like she was cosplaying for Pirates of Caribbean, though she denied it

Vocaloiders in da howze~!

Another Joker in play! Who will be the winner?? Why so serious~?!

The fab drawing competition for Advanced (above 18) Category has come to play, so of course I stepped in to join, and hung out at the back with other contestants, sitting with known buddies like Maguro-chan to do our work

Couldn't resist photog-ing them. Some of them, I see, are really true talent, that I'd prolly wish I could grab if I were able to start my own manga studio. Just carry on, guys, don't mind me

This be my drawing, which I picked the words "Danboard" and "Sushi". This is the best I can do in such a short time frame ^^;

Cosplayers of mixed universes that I can't even...!

Not sure from which universe this is, but he was supposed to play as The Scavenger or something

I have a feeling this guy is either from D.Gray-man or Vampire Knight

Extra entries for the Gundam competition

More new figurines from Chong Hock Toynation to be displayed

Moar Vocaloids again

The girl main character (I think her name is Sadako) from My Fair Lady

Vocaloid picture timez~!

Regal timez, gurlz and boyz~!

Another Ciel in the house~!

Next up was the cosplay competition. Instead of the usual individual competition, they're doing the competition as a group theme. Unfortunately my cosplay is already pretty much a well-known outdated thing and I don't really do well in groups (and the glory hog in me wanted to shine) so I decided not to join. But there's no saying in watching them having fun! Only took a few pictures, coz the one that would give them more marks is the skit section, so check out the footage in my video blog. Link is below at the bottom of this post

Everybody enjoying the show

The contestants strutting their stuff

After a number of brilliant skits and struts, and some random show of yoyo in between, it was finally time for the prize giving ceremony for the tourney, the cosplay competition, the drawing competition and the Gundam competition. Too bad I didn't win, but cooler artists like Maguro-chan didn't win either, so I wasn't too disappointed

All the winners for all the competitions presented

Sample works of the winners for the Junior Category Drawing Contest (that I managed to grab)

Sample works of the winners for the Advance Category Drawing Competition (somehow I couldn't grab the 2nd place winner due to broken link)

Random pic with Black Magician from FFIX

During the final free gift section, they gave away their last few presents to the person who can shout the loudest, and we had to really lay it in since it's the final section already. Their last, and best, gift was a Going Merry Ship plushie doll and he said whoever can fight it from him would be the winner. Needless to say, we were like zombies going for the kill, fighting for that damn present, and even though it was left to a few more people, including me, we wrestled to the death with this guy cosplaying as Roy Mustang (same guy from last dA Meet) for it. But he had a death grip, so we can't get it out and he was the victor. Goddammit!!

OK, I admit I was a little sore for not winning the drawing competition. In fact, I didn't bloody win anything! I deserve a prize for perseverance!!

Group photo timez~!!!

Sadly, the only downside from this entire con was that my business as an artist was much more prominent that my business as a writer since I ended up selling more drawings than books, and my childhood friends actually bought them to support me, feeling sorry for my state. But then again, I can take it as a sign saying that I'm better at being a manga-ka rather than a writer

It was overall another amazing experience to hav joining this con, and I totally look forward to the next one (despite the fact that after watching a live feed of San Diego Con, this con TOTALLY PALES in comparison), and for the next con, I'm totally gonna cosplay as...Psych! Not telling you! You're gonna have to find out in next con!

For video footages of the con, go here.