Tuesday, December 14, 2010 | By: BlackGargie

Is it So Bad Just to Be Myself?

I went for a company casual dinner just now. Lots of nice food all the way from Saffron and got plenty of booze to drink and stuff, and everything was pretty awesome. Had to con my best friend's fiancee into going coz she wasn't one to go to gatherings of people she didn't know, but it was all good.

I mean, free food, free drinks, what else could go wrong, eh?

Boy, did I feel like the odd one out.

Well, for starters, I didn't get along with the girls coz I don't seem to be into the topic they were talking about, and then I can't get along with the guys coz, well, I'm a girl.

I've been getting weird glances (not that I care, since I learned to filter out all that oddities I get from people from a very young age coz I know I'm weird) all night because everyone thinks I should be chatting with the girls, while the boys do their thing.

But I'm not, because, let's face it, the only thing they talk about is health, which is not my cup of tea and who the hell talks about health all night long? At least mix in some other topic that I can join in so that I won't feel so left out, but no~! They had to talk about health stuff ALL NIGHT LONG! We did talk a little in the beginning about how we got used to language barriers and accents and slangs of Brunei for foreigners like us but after that, none of what they talked about clicked with me.

But I can't join in the guys either coz they're talking, well, guy things, and I don't fit in the picture coz well, to them, I'm still a girl. I mean, I understand what they're talking about and I know that they're chatting about certain things, but it's not really something that I am in a place to chat in (though I do occasionally join in at the cost of being weirdly stared at).

Meh, it's annoying when you don't fit in, and in the end I ended up flirting with my boss's son. At least we had something in common, which is movies.

Is it so bad just to be myself?