Thursday, September 24, 2009 | By: BlackGargie

A Series of Jokes

COW-A-BUNGLE
Dr. DoLittle helped his farmer friend to get him a nice strong bull to replace the old bull he used for breeding his cows. But a week later, his friend called him and said that his old bull looked sickly and wanted him to find out what's wrong. So Dr. Dolittle did.

When he arrived at his friend's farm, he was surprised to see that his friend was right: the old bull was in rather terrible shape and looked much more tired than he should. He went up to talk to the old bull.

Dr. DoLittle: Hey, old bull. How's retirement?

Old bull: Fine, just fine. Grazing and moving around as I please, no longer having to tire myself trying to mate with all 10 of those cows. I have the time in the world

Dr. DoLittle: Then why the long face?

Old bull: If only you can tell that young bull to stop "sneaking up" at me every night because I'm not a cow!

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PARTY MAYHEM
A newly wed couple were invited to a costume party, but on the day of the party, the wife didn't feel well, so she asked the husband to go without her. After taking some pills and a short nap, she decided to check on her husband to see if he was being loyal to her at her absence. She changed a different costume and saw her husband in his Spiderman suit at the party. She pretended to be someone else and seduced him into making love with her with their masks on. After the ordeal, she went back home and waited angrily for her husband to return. When he did, she asked, "So how was the party?"

"I didn't really enjoy it," the husband replied. "I spent the whole party playing poker with my friends. Your cousin borrowed my costume and he seemed to enjoy his time though."

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GOLF CONVERSATION
4 men, namely Mr. A, B, C & D were out playing golf. Mr. D shot his ball into the lake, and while he went over to retrieve it, the other three men struck a conversation.

Mr. A: So, Mr. B, how's your son doing in his shipping business?

Mr. B: Oh, wonderful. He made so much profits today that he could even afford to buy his lover a brand new yacht. What about you, Mr. A? How's your son's construction business?

Mr. A: Oh, fantastic. He earned so much that he bought a bungalow for his sweetheart. What about your son's car-selling business, Mr. C?

Mr. C: Oh, fabulous. He's so rich, he even bought a new Vios for his darling. (At this point, Mr. D has returned with the ball) Hey, Mr. D! How's your son doing these days?

Mr. D: Oh, terrible. He dropped out of college recently coz he's busy having too much fun instead of studying. But the funny thing is he came home with a brand new yacht, a new Vios and told me he just moved in to a new bungalow. How does he do it?

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DUMB SERVANTS
Two businessmen were competing to see who has the dumbest servant.

Businessman A: Servant, take this $2 and buy me a watch!

Servant A: Yes, boss! (runs off)

Businessman B: That's nothing. Servant, go and check to see if I'm home or not!

Servant B: Yes, boss! (runs off)

The servants meet up at one spot, gossiping about their dumb boss.

Servant A: My boss is so dumb. The watch shop is just next door. He can just go there and buy it himself

Servant B: You don't say! My boss lagi dumb, he got handphone, he can try to call home and see if he's home or not what!

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MEN-MANIPULATION
Three women compared their way of manipulating men.

Lady 1: I use my beauty and love to manipulate men

Lady 2: I use my money and power to manipulate men

Lady 3: Dear me, I'm too stupid. I can't even do anything

Lady 1&2: Wow! Now that's a REAL way to manipulate a man!

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BRA CUP SIZE
Ever wondered what the true meaning behind bra cup sizes? Here's a tip for you:-

A - Almost
B - Barely
C - Can't Complain
D - Dang!
DD - Double Dang!
E - Enormous
F - Fake
G - Get a Reduction
H - Help (I Fell Down and I Can't Get Up!)

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NOT FUSSY
A lady walks into a restaurant for lunch. A young waiter immediately tends to her.

Waiter: What would you like to order, ma'am?

Lady: Oh, give me steak, and make it 75% done, because I don't like it well done, too tough. And hold the mushrooms because I'm allergic to it. The salad, make it coleslaw, but I want it very fresh and very cold, and the gravy I want it to be black pepper, but not too much pepper please, they make me sneeze. I want a 1917 Burgundy, and I want it to be fresh out of the shelf, not those old ones that have been half-drunk. And for the soup, I want it to be cream of chicken, but don't put in too much chicken, and make it creamy and thick. Thank you

Waiter: *writes everything down to the last detail* OK, ma'am. And for your dessert, ma'am?

Lady: Oh, just an apple crumble please. I'm not that fussy

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SONS
Four women were discussing about their sons during coffee

Woman A: My son is a priest. Whenever people see him, they would call him 'Father'

Woman B: That's nothing. My son is a bishop. Whenever people see him they would call him 'Your Grace'

Woman C: Mine's better. He is a cardinal. Whenever people see him they would call him 'Your Eminence'

Woman D: Well, my son is a well built, well-hung male stripper. Whenever women see him they would say 'My God!'

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DATE
Two ladies at a facial spa chit-chatted about their dating life

Lady A: Guess what? I was so tired of having to gussy up every time I go out on a date that I actually went for a date yesterday without make-up at all. How daring is that?

Lady B: So did your boyfriend show up for the date?

Lady A: Yeah, he did

Lady B: Then I think your boyfriend is much more daring than you

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DRINKING PROBLEM
Kid: Mom, I have a drinking problem

Mom: Oh no! But you're only six! How can that be? *turns to the father* It's all your fault! You never spend time with your son! Now he has a drinking problem and it's all because of YOU!

Dad: What?? Is this the thanks I get for slaving all day at work to provide you and the whole family?? That's it! I'm leaving! *walks out*

Mom: Fine! We don't need you anyway! *turns to the son* Don't worry, son. We're better off without him. Now tell me, son, about this drinking problem of yours.

Kid: Here it is *takes out a question paper* "If A drinks 15 out of 300 litres of water, how much is that in mililitres?"

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